What should I do if my wife is acting like she is retarded?

We have been married for 13 years and we have two kids. She's always been cold and aloof and "organized" like she runs the place. After ten years of her militaristic behavior i stopped trying to have with her and we've been in no-mans-land for about 3 or 4 years. We don't touch, we hardly talk. Life is about our two kids who are now 9 & 11. They are doing great but unfortunately my wife acts like I do not exist, and she cannot answer any of my questions. We have been to counseling and it went nowhere. It has become obvious that she is intentionally avoiding . Should I just cause an "accident" and take care of it? Otherwise, what should i do? She's totally irrational and uncooperative. It's just like living with a retarded person.