I used to be so nice as a kid but i have become a lonely bitter person how can i change this?

when i was a little kid i used to love everything and everyone my life was always ruff my brothers were in to drugs my parents would always would fight but i always found a way to remain positive i was a very unusually caring person and i always thought to myself maby i can fix everyone until i heard my mom and dad saying how they where ashamed of me i never cried i just went on but i started to just want to be alone all the time one day my dad left and my mom was mad and threw me an airpump and it hit face i cried not at the pain of my scars but the pain of seeing someone you love disregard your feeling and safety so much i became very bitter and closed off one day i went to school at the age of 12 and my teacher told me no one will ever love you i might be handsome but for some god given reason she was right i have become a lonely person my only friends look up to me but i dont know why i dont feel like i belong anymore recently i was laid off work because of the economic situation i dont have a car a job i dont date because i have given up i feel that being handsome was a waste i cant get a college loan due to the economy and my biggest dream was to be a aeronautical engineer i am a genius with a high IQ but my dreams my life my brains just rot away destruction is the only thing that grants me any satisfaction i just wish i could do something down deep inside i know the world needs my brains but what good is it if you are smart but will never shine due to cirstances in which you have no control of i was a good kid and inside i am still am a good person my past has made me closed off person but our countries current situation is devastating my only dreams as well